When a child falls over, even if they aren’t physically injured, they look to their parents for a reaction.
Some caregivers respond to respond with a hug, kiss or words to acknowledge what has happened and settle their child’s emotions.
Other parents think it is best not to overact or put too much emphasis on a small accident, thinking doing so will lead to a dramatic and attention-seeking child.
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But what is the best way to react?
Researchers have found parents and medical experts validating children’s pain, no matter how large or small the injury, can help the child regulate their emotions and pain in the future.
Experts from the University of South Australia analysed studies across the fields of psychology, child mental health, and pain sciences to determine how a child was impacted by the reactions of adults.
Dr Sarah Wallwork said when adults validated a child’s experience, the child learnt to regulate the frequency and intensity of their emotions.
It also helped build a sense of trust and attachment with a guardian or doctor responding to the situation.
If the child’s emotions were not validated, their related stress and trauma became heightened because they felt the need to prove their experience.
“Around the age of about three to six years old, that’s when children develop their foundation emotional regulation skills so having validation through this earlier period is really important,” Wallwork said.
“If we’re telling them what their body is telling them is wrong, then they learn to have a distrust of their sensory systems and what they’re feeling.”
Wallwork said parents did not have to “overdo” their reaction, but simply acknowledge what had happened.
“The key thing with validation is you don’t have to agree with that expression or what they’re experiencing,” she said.
“It doesn’t need to be wallowing in self-pity, it can just be a quick acknowledgement and then (saying), ‘come on, let’s do something about it’.”
If more parents were to take this approach, Wallwork said it could help prevent children from experiencing chronic pain in the future.
“People with chronic pain often report that their pain-related experiences are met with disbelief or dismissal.
“This can have significant consequences, including poor mental health and reduced quality of life.
“Given the significant burden of chronic pain, and the clear intersection with the rising child mental health crisis, it’s important that we better manage pain earlier on, rather than waiting until it is too late,” Wallwork said.
