This Valentine’s Day, I’m finally going to learn to love bows | Fashion

A year or so ago, when I first started seeing ribbons tied into bows all over the place – in Lana Del Rey’s hair, on the catwalk at Simone Rocha in London and Miu Miu in Paris, as the pink bow emoji on WhatsApp messages – my reaction was, thanks but no thanks. Very pretty, but clearly not for me, what with me not being eight years old.

But rather than being a flash-in-the-pan, the gift-wrap flourish of a satin bow is turning out to be a real thing. I don’t just see them on TikTok any more, I see them on the tube. At the most recent Copenhagen fashion week, which can generally be relied upon for slick no-frills minimalism, there was a sliver of black silk ribbon tied into every ponytail. Then Sarah Jessica Parker, who is also not eight years old, wore a bow so vast it trailed from her crown to her hem, for a fancy New York ballet gala. By Christmas, I had succumbed to the bow charm offensive, and attempted to rent the Saloni “Camille” dress – the velvet one with the three bows down the front that was all over your Instagram feed during party season – but it seemed everyone had the same idea, and I was too late to get my hands on one in my size.

This is the age of the girl, and in the age of the girl, the ribbon is the new football scarf. (Confusingly, football scarves are also back this season, but that’s a story for another time.) Girlhood, with all its twirls and flounces, is being reframed as a creative platform, a free channel unchained from the patriarchal power system. It goes without saying that I am down with all this. But that doesn’t change the fact that a bow has a topnote of sweetness that is all most people you cross paths with will be aware of. The way you dress is the most powerful way you have to control how the world sees you, but you can’t very well chase people down the street and hand them a reading list if they miss the irony.

Valentine’s season feels like an appropriate moment to talk coquette, because the Valentine’s vibe in popular culture can veer into toothsome and even puerile in the same way that bows and ribbons can. As if somehow it is a slippery slope from snogging (excellent) and chocolate (ditto) to baby talk (no) and giving a cuddly toy as a gift to a grownup (never). Ever since the invention of more utilitarian ways of fastening your clothes, a prettily tied bow has been a celebration of the decorative, rather than the useful. To put it bluntly: a bow is deliberately pointless, which is kind of a weird vibe.

I think all of this is a long-winded way of asking: is there a way I can wear a dress with a bow on, or a ribbon tied in a bow in my hair, without feeling silly this Valentine’s Day? After a non-scientific but extensive study of what people are wearing, I have reached the following conclusions: my first tip is to maybe swerve the ballet-shoe pink, which is pretty but possibly over literal, and try monochrome instead. A glossy black ribbon bow – SJP’s choice, after all – looks way more sophisticated. My second is to play with scale. At Saint Laurent’s menswear catwalk show in Paris last year, men and women wore blouses with giant stiffened bows the size of scarves rather than ribbons, tied in a bow at the throat. In black leather or stiff white crepe they looked chic and powerful – a play on the traditional YSL pussy-bow, but without the floppiness. Oversized bows are already happening on the red carpet – Elle Fanning wore a strapless Balmain gown with a bow on the bodice at the Golden Globes, and made it classic and elegant with a sleek low bun.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, I am increasingly powerless to resist the charms of bows and ribbons. You know what? It could be love.

Model: Charlotte Robinson at Milk. Styling assistant: Sam Deaman. Hair and makeup: Carol Morley at Carol Hayes Management. Dress: Sister Jane. Loafers: Marks & Spencer