Peter Sarsgaard: ‘A relative once said to me: You’re not an actor, an actor looks like Mel Gibson’ | Life and style

Born in Illinois, Sarsgaard, 52, appeared in Boys Don’t Cry with Hilary Swank in 1999. His other films include Shattered Glass, An Education, Jarhead, The Lost Daughter, The Batman and The Survivor. His TV work includes The Killing, The Looming Tower, Interrogation and Dopesick, for which he was nominated for an Emmy in 2022. Memory, which is in cinemas now, was nominated for the Golden Lion for best film at last year’s Venice film festival and won him the best actor award. He is married to Maggie Gyllenhaal, they have two children and live in New York.

What is your greatest fear?
Drowning.

What was your most embarrassing moment?
I was doing The Seagull with Carey Mulligan and Kristin Scott Thomas on Broadway. I walked out on stage and looked at Carey and said: “I’ve no idea what to say.” It was pretty deep into the run and it took me by surprise.

Describe yourself in three words:
Nurturing, musical, uncompromising.

What would your superpower be?
Quelling violence.

Who would play you in the film of your life?
John Malkovich.

What scares you about getting older?
Losing my mind.

Who is your celebrity crush?
Marlene Dietrich.

What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Listening to Adele.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Not finishing things.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Lying.

Aside from a property, what is the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought?
A wedding.

What is your most unappealing habit?
I don’t have many habits, I’m very inconsistent – so maybe inconsistency.

What is the worst thing anyone’s ever said to you?
When I was first acting, in college, a relative came and saw me in Hedda Gabler and she said: “Look in the mirror, you’re not an actor. An actor looks like Mel Gibson.”

To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
Every woman I dated before I met my wife, because I think I convinced too many people that they were the one, and they were not the one.

What does love feel like?
Stimulating in every way.

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Have you ever said ‘I love you’ without meaning it?
Oh yeah, for sure.

What is the worst job you’ve ever done?
Caddying for really rich people at this country club in Connecticut when I was a teenager. They would talk like I wasn’t there so I would hear all about their lives, their affairs and their stupidity, and yet I couldn’t say anything.

If not yourself, who would you most like to be?
The pope. The guy is one of the most powerful people around.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
It would improve the quality of all of our lives if we just got rid of all unessential vehicles in New York City.

What keeps you awake at night?
The Middle East crisis.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
To tell the truth.

What happens when we die?
We die.

Tell us a secret:
The lock box in front of my house does not have a key in it.

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