Most Divorced Dad House Of All Time Features Chevy Impala With ‘DIVORCE3’ License Plate On Rotating Car Bed

When a guy gets divorced, it’s only natural for him to shell out for a sweet bachelor pad. In fact, I did that exact thing after separating from my ex, taking this job and moving to Detroit. I spent a whole $1,575 a month (utilities and garage parking included) to rent a 900 square foot apartment in a former luxury hotel across from the Detroit Institute of the Arts. So I can’t really judge a guy for buying a cool bachelor pad, but this New Zealand condo? This is a level of divorced that’s too much even for me.

First of all, we’re talking about a penthouse with a rotating car bed inside, complete with a second-generation Chevrolet Impala. Oh, and if you zoom in on the license plate, it appears to read “DIVORCE3.” Buddy, you did not need to put it on the license plate—we already guessed that. Sure, everything about the condo’s interior design screams divorce, but displaying your divorce car in your divorce house is just a level of divorced that even Elon Musk, the most divorced man alive, would be envious of.

It’s not initially clear from the listing if the Impala is included in the sale, it does indeed. And based on OneRoof’s description of how difficult it was to get it into the penthouse, I fully understand why:

The installation of the car bed – which cheekily has the word “divorce” on the licence plate and includes a fridge – was one for the movies. It had to be airlifted to the penthouse by helicopter, one the owner had to hire from Australia because no Kiwi chopper was strong enough to do the job. The surrounding streets and roads had to be closed off while the car was in the air.

‘The pilot had his leg out of the door at one point and the whole helicopter was shaking – it was jumping up and down. We went over Albert Park and dropped it onto the deck,’ he said, noting that it was the last helicopter drop of its kind in central Auckland.

If the car bed and tacky interior decorating choices weren’t already enough for you, have I mentioned that this condo is Batman-themed? Oh yeah. It’s totally Batman-themed. You know, because of course the wealthy divorced guy who designed this place thinks he’s Bruce Wayne. Honestly, at this point, I’m really not sure why this condo doesn’t already belong to Elon. It would be perfect for him.

Thankfully, that appears to be the only Batman symbol in the condo, but the owner went even further and added a bunch of hidden, hydraulic doors, and even 14 TVs that drop down from the ceiling. I guess if you’re going to be spending all your newfound free time with the boys, that’s cool, but I’m pretty sure I’d die of embarrassment the second a date saw my wall said “Gotham City” on it. Then again, we’re talking about a condo with a stripper pole in the living room, so I’m guessing any “dates” who have been brought up to this place were contractually obligated to stay for at least an hour.

If you must know more about the divorce condo itself, it’s about 3,500 sq. ft. and comes with another 1,500 sq. ft. of outdoor space. It also comes with four bedrooms, three bathrooms and four parking spaces, and it reportedly features more marble than any property currently for sale in New Zealand. The owner, who asked to stay anonymous so I couldn’t mock him by name, told OneRoof he bought the unit about 10 years ago and spent three years turning it into the bachelor pad you see today.

As for how much you’ll have to pay to buy the property, that also isn’t clear. It was originally listed for $10 million, but the listing says the price is negotiable. Which is definitely a good thing since this place is going to need a lot of work to make it not scream “divorce.” Apparently, you’ll have to rent a helicopter from Australia if you want to get the car out, and that cannot be cheap.

That said, there’s no denying the outdoor views are gorgeous. I’ve got to at least give him that.