Putting the book together and conceiving of arguing something over various essays was kind of a different process, though. There are so many different threads in the book. In a poetry book, I can kind of just lay all those threads out, whereas with this one, I felt more compelled to do some braiding and figure out exactly what that would look like. I was not always sure what I was writing toward, and then at other times I had an idea in my head and was trying to execute that, but I know from poetry that just because you have a plan of how something might turn out does not mean thatâs how it goes. It was a process of having almost an outline for an essay, or an idea for what it would achieve and accomplish, and then also allowing for that kind of poetic process of running with the language and letting the work kind of pick up space on the page, and deal with it that way.
What do you wish was more commonly understood about Black womenâs physical and emotional health?
I think itâs less about knowing things, because a lot of what Iâm talking about we already know, and itâs just a matter of, How often does that come into your brain? Iâm looking for a more holistic and present and permanent consideration, rather than, Oh, I know that fact, or, I heard someone mention in an article that doctors under-prescribe to Black women. I think sometimes we can get lost under facts; the physicality of an individual Black woman can get lost under that, so for me, itâs really just about paying attention to the person in front of you. I told a story about when I was walking to a reading and a white woman bumped into me, and then I saw her at the reading and it was just like, okay, youâre into this and youâre digging in and youâre thanking me for my words, but then as soon as we leave this bookstore, youâre bumping into a Black woman and not apologizing. Are you carrying that information in the world?Â
In the book, I quote some work from the â60s about Black women battling low self-esteem because of the effects of slavery and the way that Black womenâs bodies and minds have been disregarded. There is an understanding of that, but not so much a linking of it to our dailiness and what that does to our daily self-esteem. Itâs like, Iâm less inclined to go on online dating, you know what I mean? Itâs really like, what are my daily and small interactions? How are they affected by these things? I think thatâs something that we donât understand as much or care to consider as much because itâs easier to see broad strokes rather than the tiny things. Really, I just want folks to understand how much is being asked of us in terms of being strong and filling our own self-esteem. I was telling someone the other day, the only esteem I have is self-esteem, because itâs not like Iâm getting it anywhere else. Thatâs another thing thatâs so unreasonable of us as a countryâto expect Black women to be so strong and so resilient, but not to refill us at all.
