Man sues several women for making negative comments on dating Facebook group

A Los Angeles man is suing several women for negative posts they allegedly wrote about him on social media, claiming the messages are false and defamatory.

Stewart Lucas Murrey is suing 10 defendants for claims including defamation, sex-based discrimination, intentional infliction of emotional distress, libel, invasion of privacy, and more.

Other defendants not yet named or identified could eventually be added to the suit.

The lawsuit stems from posts and comments the women are accused of writing in a Facebook group called “Are We Dating The Same Guy?”

The private group involves members sharing dating advice while warning others about men who are potentially harmful, dangerous or not to be trusted.

The “Are We Dating The Same Guy?” group has specific, location-based pages for cities across the U.S. 

Murrey alleges the women posted a variety of false things about him including that he is suspected of murder or involved in a murder case, that he had several domestic violence charges against him, that he had tried to extort money from women he dated, that he had sexually-transmitted diseases and that he lied about being an attorney. 

  • Stewart Lucas Murrey seen in a personal photo.
  • A group of defendants hold a press conference on March 20, 2024 addressing a lawsuit involving comments about a man on a Facebook group called "Are We Dating The Same Guy?" (KTLA)
  • A private Facebook group called "Are We Dating The Same Guy?" involves women sharing dating advice while warning others about men who are potentially harmful, dangerous or not to be trusted.
  • A private Facebook group called "Are We Dating The Same Guy?" involves women sharing dating advice while warning others about men who are potentially harmful, dangerous or not to be trusted.
  • A private Facebook group called "Are We Dating The Same Guy?" involves women sharing dating advice while warning others about men who are potentially harmful, dangerous or not to be trusted.
  • A group of defendants hold a press conference on March 20, 2024 addressing a lawsuit involving comments about a man on a Facebook group called "Are We Dating The Same Guy?" (KTLA)
  • From left: Stewart Lucas Murrey seen in a personal photo; A group of defendants hold a press conference on March 20, 2024 addressing a lawsuit involving comments about a man on a Facebook group called "Are We Dating The Same Guy?" (KTLA)

Murrey claims all the allegations posted by the women on the group are completely false.

One of the defendants, Olivia Burger, said the majority of the women Murrey is suing had not met him in person. She claimed some defendants only made passing comments or reactions to posts about Murrey or simply just “liked” the post about him.

Berger, however, was one of the few women who met Murrey in person for a date after matching with him on the dating app Tinder in 2021.

During their date, Burger claimed Murrey ranted about conspiracy theories and other topics and appeared “arrogant and smug.” Overall, she felt they weren’t very compatible based on their differences of opinion.

“It was the typical bad date behavior,” Berger said. “I want to emphasize that I had never had a date like this, ever.

When she shared her experience with Murrey on the Facebook group, she said her statements “were factual and they were based on our true experiences. He found those comments and decided to come forth with this lawsuit.”

According to the suit, Murrey attempted to join the Facebook group to defend himself but said he was consistently denied entry. 

Another defendant, Vanessa Valdes, said she connected with Murrey on the dating app Hinge.

“Right out of the gate, gave me his phone number and said, ‘Let’s hang,’” she recalled. “I commented with one message saying, ‘Bold move’ with a happy face, and then a barrage of harassing messages came afterward. So I immediately blocked him and reported him.”

A few years later, Valdes commented on a post in the Facebook group about her experience with Murrey.

“I shared my personal experience, truthful, and my opinions on his behavior and now I’m being sued,” Valdes said. “It’s unfortunate that we’re here, but I’m happy to provide all the evidence and get through this. Hopefully, justice will prevail.”

In a statement to KTLA, Murrey denied all allegations and comments made by the women, saying in part:

“For years, key defendants obsessively tracked, stalked and incited harassment against me. These are women with whom I had little to no interaction. In every case of interaction, I rejected each one of them and cut them off, quite swiftly. Instead of going their separate ways, they went on for months and years to spread misinformation about me and countless others. Their actions were deliberate, and now they are playing the victims.”

A hearing was held on Tuesday where the women appeared in court, defending themselves. They are currently seeking legal representation and hope media attention on their case will bring the right attorneys to them.

KTLA’s legal analyst, Alison Triessl, said the women may have a case on their part depending on several elements. 

“If the claim is defamation, and the defense is that it’s the truth or was simply stated as an opinion, then there is no defamatory statement,” Triessl said.

Explaining more about the Facebook group, Valdes said, “It’s not about men versus women, it’s about truth versus fiction. This is a community, a place where women can share their honest experiences and keep each other safe. So while we’re doing that, we’re exercising our right to free speech and we feel this is a bullying tactic to silence us.”

In January, a Chicago man also filed a lawsuit against members of the “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” Facebook group for that city for defamation.

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