At six years old, John Cardamone should have been having fun playing with friends.
Instead, his childhood innocence was stolen by a family member who sexually abused him over a two-year nightmare.
Each Sunday, Cardamone woke filled with dread as he prepared to visit the house where his abuser lived.
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His family had no idea what was happening behind closed doors.
Desperate to escape, he would invent illnesses and reasons to stay home, sometimes forcing himself to vomit.
“I remember explicitly trying to tell my mum at different times, and I just remember I couldn’t find the words,” he told 7NEWS.com.au.
“I was so terrified.”
It took two years before Cardamone found his voice to speak up.
Now, 30 years on, the Melbourne father-of-two is using his voice to help protect other children from abuse.
One in four Australians experience child sexual abuse, according to the Australian Child Maltreatment Study.
Almost 90 per cent of this is committed by someone they know, often someone they trust.
Cardamone’s abuser used threats of violence against him and his mother to scare him into silence.
“He knew how close I was to my mum,” he said.
“Being so young, I believed him.”
Loved ones could not pinpoint exactly what was wrong, as the six-year-old shrunk in on himself, shrouded by shame and secrecy.
“I remember being in the laundry and I was crying,” he said.
“I was misbehaving, yelling, screaming.
“My poor mum never looked so worried.”
As soon as he uttered the truth about the abuse, Cardamone felt “a weight coming off my shoulders”.
His mum instantly believed him, a reaction that shaped his healing process for years to come.
“She responded by being really calm … and it reassured me that I was in a safe place,” he said.
“The police were called right away.”
His abuser later went to trial and received a correction order.
A difficult truth
While Cardamone has put in the work to not let his trauma control his life, the abuse is something he will never forget.
“I was triggered in a big way two years ago when my son became near the age of when I was sexually abused,” he said.
“I’ve never forgotten the images and the movie reels that were what was happening to me between six and eight.”
He hopes his vulnerability will help other survivors find their voice and parents to educate themselves.
“I’m not angry but I want to be a role model that as a survivor, something happened but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
“We’re not going to let our past dictate our future.”
The educator is an ambassador for Bravehearts Day, Australia’s leading child protection organisation’s day to fight against child sexual abuse.
“It can be difficult for people to hear, but it’s one of those things that needs to be addressed and spoken about as much as we can to protect our children because I’m a big believer that it’s every adult’s responsibility,” he said.
Bravehearts CEO Alison Geale said now was the time to take a stand and protect vulnerable children.
“With one in four Australian children experiencing child sexual abuse, it’s devastating that one in five Australian adults lack the confidence on being able to recognise if a child is being abused or neglected,” she said.
Cardamone wants parents to focus on spending time with children and developing a trusting relationship, as well as teaching them how to share their concerns.
“Children spell love using a different four-letter word, and that’s time,” he said.
“Time is the greatest gift that we can give ourselves. But it’s also the greatest gift that we give to our children.
“They won’t disclose or share any of their concerns if we don’t explicitly teach them how to do that.”
If someone opens up about abuse, listen, Cardamone said.
“The biggest healer, without even knowing it, was I was believed,” he said.
“Unfortunately, a lot of children are not, they’re questioned and that can really impact the trauma and the healing.”
If you believe a child is in immediate danger, call police on triple-0.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, contact Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 or Lifeline on 13 11 14.
For support and advice regarding child sexual abuse, call Braveheart’s free information support line on 1800 272 831.
