Extroverted by nature, Hunter Karam has always been someone with lots of friends.
Yet when the Sydney local was reeling from the end of a long-term relationship in his early 20s, he felt he had no one to turn to.
While long days at his construction job kept him busy, it left him too tired to maintain meaningful connections with friends.
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“I didn’t have that ability to be authentic and open and vulnerable in front of my friends out of the fear of judgement and isolation for breaking those gender-stereotypical norms,” he told 7NEWS.com.au.
It took time before he could confront the uncomfortable feeling gnawing away: loneliness.
Karam is not alone.
One in four Australians experience long-term loneliness, according to new research from Ending Loneliness Together.
The new Why We Feel Lonely report found that 41 per cent of 18 to 24-year-olds reported feeling persistent loneliness – lasting at least eight weeks.
This was followed by 32 per cent of 45 to 54-year-olds and just 10 per cent of the over-75 cohort.
Australians who were single, experiencing financial hardship, unemployed, or had poor health were more likely to be lonely.
“Loneliness is being repositioned as a serious global public health threat,” Ending Loneliness Together CEO and scientific chair Associate Professor Michelle H Lim said in the report.
“We need to stop thinking of loneliness as a ‘soft’ issue.”
More than a run
Australians are eager to connect, as people turn to new communities to foster relationships.
Run clubs in particular have seen a significant boom across the country in the past year.
Isaac Smith, 25, from Sydney’s Thursday Social Club said running was just a side part of the club’s main event: social connection.
“It’s just a club that people go and meet up and move their body,” he said.
“It obviously means something to a lot of these people for them to make the effort to get up at 5am and come down.
“They’re making these organic and authentic connections with people that they probably wouldn’t otherwise, or it would happen over a device.”
Melbourne’s RTB Run Club co-founder Mollie Burke, 30, agreed, telling 7NEWS.com.au that most people who joined were looking to meet new people and exercise in a community.
“I think that’s what draws people in,” she said.
“They see there are a lot of people who are making friends.”
And it’s not just run clubs.
Founder of the First Timers Club, Penelope Jordan, saw her club recently explode in popularity thanks to Instagram.
The Melbourne-based club, which launched a few years ago, originally started as an excuse for Jordan and friends to try new hobbies but soon snowballed into something greater.
“People are really, really engaged and actively trying to find ways to connect,” she told 7NEWS.com.au.
“I was getting lots and lots of messages from people saying, ‘I’ve lived in Melbourne for a year, two years and I haven’t been able to make a friend’.
“That was really jarring — so many people feeling brave enough to reach out and admit this and say, ‘I’ve actually been finding it really, really difficult’.
“But also part of the enthusiasm around it is I think based on the fact that people are really wanting it.”
A culture of connection
Building a culture of connection is key to addressing persistent loneliness, experts say.
But this is easier said than done, with many Australians telling 7NEWS.com.au they struggled to make genuine friends as an adult.
When researchers interviewed adults about making friends in a recent study, the most common reasons people struggled were a lack of trust, a lack of time and introversion.
US researchers tried to quantify how long it takes to make friends and estimated 50 hours to move from acquaintances to casual friends.
To become a close friend required more than 200 hours.
It’s a barrier not everyone can break, Sydney resident Jess Wu told 7NEWS.com.au.
Wu migrated to Australia about nine years ago and faced a “scary” journey as she found her feet in new social spaces.
University provided an easy landscape to make friendships, but everything changed in adulthood.
“Most of my friends have moved interstate or to another country, so I feel like all my close connections have disappeared,” she said.
“I feel really sad sometimes.”
Wu’s terminal cancer diagnosis is another barrier.
“I’m always very transparent and say, ‘I’m really struggling with life and sometimes I can’t go out for too long or need to rest’ and they will just be like ‘Oh, you’re no fun’,” she said.
The 27-year-old has her partner to lean on but misses the connection of girls’ nights with close friends.
“I feel like I need to rebuild my social circle but it’s easier said than done.”
It’s this all-too-familiar struggle, and the deaths of several friends and colleagues by suicide, that motivated Karam to start the Mental Fitness Collective, a community-led initiative focused on connecting people through physical, emotional and mental health.
“What’s helped me build these meaningful connections in my life is being authentic and real,” he said.
“Now, there are other individuals that have come down and have made some beautiful friendships purely from having a safe space to open up about the highs and lows throughout the week.”
Researchers said more authentic connections would better equip society to handle more severe forms of loneliness and social isolation.
This can be achieved through deepening our understanding of loneliness, focusing on quality time with others, maintaining meaningful social connections, and creating safe spaces for people to come together.
It’s this approach that helped Karam meet his best friend and find a friendship group that accepts and loves him – emotions and all.
“After leaving my job a month ago, I’m the happiest I’ve probably been in my life,” he said.
“I have a beautiful support network, people that understand me, that allow me to be me.”
This is something Karam hopes everyone can experience.
“The one thing I would say for someone struggling — reach out to your friends,” he said.
“If you can’t reach out to them, have a conversation with Lifeline, have a conversation with some mental health community groups.
“At the minimum, come to the Mental Fitness Collective, go down to your local run club, go down to a book community … find where your passion lies.”
If you need help in a crisis, call Lifeline on 13 11 14. For further information about depression contact beyondblue on 1300 224 636 or talk to your GP, local health professional or someone you trust.
