Donna Thornell cannot stand to hear the words, “you never know what’s going on behind closed doors”.
Thornell could see what was happening to her daughter Kristy Armstrong in the lead-up to her domestic violence death in 2023.
Once a fun-loving mum, Armstrong grew anxious as her ex-husband lashed out, smashed her possessions, withheld money and sent hateful text messages to her family.
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“We actually do know what happened behind closed doors because we were the ones picking up the pieces,” Thornell told a rally to end gendered violence at Orange, in NSW’s central west, on Sunday.
Armstrong, 36, was killed in a car crash in the village of Molong, 35km northwest of Orange, on June 9, 2023.
Her former husband Troy Armstrong was charged with her murder, accused of running her car off the road at 140km/h.
His injuries from the crash meant he never faced court to enter a plea before he died by suicide in jail.
Wearing her daughter’s favourite colour purple, Thornell said Armstrong could not find adequate support through local services.
She issued a plea to do away with hurtful attitudes that diminish domestic abuse.
“He was not a good bloke who snapped because he was pushed too far,” she said.
“He is and was a coward, who tormented and abused his wife and daughters.”
Thousands of people took to the streets in cities and towns around Australia on the weekend, calling for greater action on domestic and gendered violence.
Not-for-profit group What Were You Wearing organised the protests amid a spike in the number of women killed by men.
Crowds walked past NSW parliament house in Sydney on Sunday chanting “No more violence, no more hate”.
The Brisbane crowd cried “54 no more” in reference to the number of women killed this year.
Protests were also held in regional areas including Ballarat in Victoria, Port Macquarie and Tamworth, in NSW, and Bundaberg in Queensland.
The spate of deaths has cast light on higher rates of domestic violence outside the cities.
The NSW government tightened bail laws after the alleged murder of Molly Ticehurst in Forbes, 120km west of Orange, in April.
The 28-year-old childcare educator was allegedly murdered by her former boyfriend, who was free on bail.
In the weeks afterwards, the federal government funded a $1 billion program that will provide $5000 payments to people fleeing domestic violence.
But advocates say it isn’t enough, as domestic violence refuges and frontline services run at capacity nationwide.
In Orange — where domestic assaults are up to 50 per cent higher than the state average — Thornell called for better local services and community action.
“If you know someone that is a perpetrator of domestic violence, whether it be a brother, sister, son or work colleague, speak out and tell them to pull their head in,” she said.
“It is far better losing a friendship by speaking out than someone losing a life.”
If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit 1800RESPECT.org.au.
In an emergency, call 000.
Advice and counselling for men concerned about their use of family violence: Men’s Referral Service, 1300 766 491
