The moment I knew: on Christmas Day, we screamed 90s ballads into each other’s faces | Dating

We met in the most cliched way possible: we sat next to each other at the wedding of mutual friends in 2019. Jared on my left, a negroni and a glass of champagne in front of us both, and friends who were “in on it” all around us. I’d been given a heads-up about the seating plan a few weeks earlier and I still remember how sweaty my palms were as I approached the table. Jared looked up and smiled the best smile I’d ever seen.

Luckily for us it was a three-day wedding, and our friends proved to be excellent matchmakers – to say we hit it off would be an understatement.

Back in Sydney a few thousand text messages and a handful of dates followed, strung out across the next few months. Despite our obvious and instant chemistry, I was slightly on the fence (or at least pretending to be) for reasons as vapid as “He’s too nice” and “Do I want to date someone I’ve been set up with?”

But anyone who knew me could see that I really liked Jared, and that we complemented each other in more ways than I was letting on.

Christmas was approaching and I did that thing anyone in a new relationship does – I deliberated over whether to buy Jared a gift. A present might give away my feelings too early on. Then I spent many shopping missions choosing just the right thing, which was a clear sign of my true feelings.

Christmas Day arrived and I headed to my parents’ house, while Jared went to our recently married mutual friends’ house with a bunch of mates.

Mum kept catching me checking my phone and smiling at messages and asked me far too curiously: “What’s Jared doing today?”

I explained that I’d been invited to meet up with him at our friends’ house later – a 45-minute drive away – and was shocked when my usually frugal mother encouraged me: “Book the Uber! Who cares what it costs.” So I booked the second-most expensive ride I’ve ever taken. As the car drove across the Harbour Bridge, I felt my palms sweating yet again, and checked my reflection every few minutes.

When I arrived, my friends’ excitement made me feel like the most loved person in the world. As the night went on, the living room turned into a karaoke lounge and as Jared and I screamed 90s ballads into each other’s faces, I was struck with how happy I was. I caught myself in that moment and thought: “I feel entirely like myself right now, and I always do with Jared.” It was a welcome contrast to how I might have felt or behaved in front of previous boyfriends, so I let myself relax into what I knew was a great feeling.

Later, Jared whispered in my ear: “I got you a present.” I replied: “Same.” We were on equal ground.

Four years on we are about to celebrate our first Christmas with our daughter. And while the only singing going on after midnight this year will probably be Sesame Street’s I Don’t Want to Live on the Moon as we rock our baby to sleep, I already know it will be our best Christmas yet.