Deception, gaslighting and blaming are some of the signs you’re in an unhealthy relationship.
They are not always recognisable at first — but Australian relationship coach Louanne Ward has exposed the “subtle” cues to look out for.
“It could be more than rough patches if you’re feeling increasingly confused and drained in your relationship,” she said.
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“Coercive control is often hard to recognise because it masquerades as love or concern.”
By becoming aware of the subtle yet serious warning signs, Ward says you can avoid becoming involved in a toxic relationship.
“Coercive control chips away at your freedom and self-esteem. If these signs feel familiar, it might be time to reassess your relationship and seek help to restore your autonomy and safety,” she said.
Ward says deception, no matter how tiny, can be problematic over time.
“Small lies might seem insignificant but can be part of a larger pattern of deception that serves to undermine your trust in your own judgment,” she explained.
“Whether it’s trivial untruths or significant fabrications, the intent is to manipulate your perception of reality.”
According to Ward, manipulation is a toxic behaviour you should never ignore.
“Manipulation often plays on your emotions, twisting circumstances to make you feel guilty for questioning or resisting,” she said.
“This might involve them playing on your fears, guilt, or compassion to bend your will to theirs.
“They could also subtly coerce you into decisions, ensuring they benefit more from the outcomes.”
A common manipulation tactic is gaslighting.
“When your reality is constantly questioned, it can make you doubt your own memories and sanity,” Ward explained.
“If statements like ‘That never happened’ or ‘You’re imagining things’ are common, you might be experiencing gaslighting, a form of deep psychological manipulation.”
Ward says threats and intimidation aren’t always overt — but if you’re feeling fearful, you need to seek help.
“They might come as veiled hints or implications that leave you anxious about potential outcomes,” she said.
“Threats to expose personal information, or hints at self-harm, are tactics meant to keep you tethered and afraid.”
Ward explained how blame shifting in a toxic relationship is a form of manipulation to avoid taking responsibility for their actions or behaviours.
“After displaying disturbing behaviours, they might justify their actions as being motivated by love or concern,” she said.
“They may admit to certain behaviours but find a way to shift blame to avoid accountability.”
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