Sunday breakfast? It’s everyone for themselves… scraps of food from under the table after Saturday night’s dinner party. When I was a kid, I would take my parents a cup of tea in bed. I haven’t trained my kids to that stage yet.
Then what? I’m a coffee addict. We live in a very rural area, but there is a coffee roasterie. I’ll jump in the car to get a double espresso and take home a decaf oat flat white for my wife.
Sunday mornings? We’ll walk the dog, Stevie (after Stevie Nicks). She’s a double doodle, which is a golden doodle crossed with a golden doodle. A golden doodle is a golden retriever crossed with a poodle. The colour of her hair reminded us of Stevie Nicks.
Sunday lunch? Like most people, it ends up happening around 3pm. The division of labour is that my wife does the cooking and then I do all the washing up.
Sunday chores? Despite living remotely, Amazon still arrives 10 minutes after I order a pair of socks. They come in a massive cardboard box, so the main event of a Sunday will be me cramming all the cardboard in the back of the car and driving I take it to the dump.
Fan of the dump? Yes, but since Covid, there’s a similar level of security to getting a work visa for the US. You have to prove you’re a resident and state the exact material you intend to deposit every time you go. You get a 30 minute time slot – the clock is invariably ticking as I race down winding country roads.
Do you get recognised? One of the gifts that keeps on giving is being recognised when you’re using a public toilet or you are at the dump. When you’re on the red carpet running the gauntlet of the world’s media, no one knows who you are.
Sunday unwind? There’s never any arguing because we just watch whatever my wife wants to watch. Ideally, I’d watch true-crime documentaries. I just love spending 10 hours in the company of a homicidal maniac who is good at presenting normal.
Sunday night blues or highs? I like Sunday night because it’s nearly Monday. I love what I do, so I’m always looking forward to starting the week. Although I look forward less to my kids getting up so early to go to school.
Ben’s ninth children’s book, Secrets of a Christmas Elf, is published by Simon & Schuster at £9.99. Buy it from guardianbookshop.com for £9.29
