Born in West Sussex, Romesh Ranganathan, 46, was a maths teacher before he became a standup, and then presenter of TV shows Asian Provocateur, The Misadventures of Romesh Ranganathan and The Ranganation. In 2021, he became host of The Weakest Link. His autobiography is titled Straight Outta Crawley and last year he published a children’s book, Lil’ Muffin Drops the Mic. Rob and Romesh Vs, the seventh series of his Bafta award-winning show with Rob Beckett, is on Sky. Ranganathan is married with three children and lives in West Sussex.
What is your greatest fear?
My children ending up anything like me.
What is your earliest memory?
Being at the end of my mum’s bed tickling her feet, and her kicking me in the face by accident.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My complete lack of organisation that affects all part of my life – my living space, my being in touch with people, everything. I am a walking shitshow.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Their inability to deal with my disorganisation.
What was your most embarrassing moment?
I was once walking through Edinburgh with someone in the industry. I was quite drunk and I slowly wet myself.
Aside from a property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
The arcade game, Guitar Hero. I’ve got the full unit in my house. It’s so sad.
Describe yourself in three words:
Lazy, disorganised and lucky.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
The fact that regardless of how much I exercise or how much I monitor my diet, I still have a stomach that obscures any logo on my boxer shorts.
What is your most unappealing habit?
Trimming my beard and paying no mind as to where the cuttings go.
What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A comedian or rapper. You can tell by the way I’m dressed that I’m a frustrated rapper.
What is the worst thing anyone’s said to you?
My wife when I tried out some new material on her, said: “I’m sure the people who like you would like that.”
Would you choose fame or anonymity?
I’m actually very shy. If I was able to sell tours but I could also be anonymous, that would be the ideal.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Watching Vanderpump Rules.
What do you owe your parents?
A level of self-worth that’s come from them telling me that they love me all the time.
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To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
When I was 17 I launched into a rant at my dad about what I thought of him. We never spoke about it again and then he passed away. I would love to say sorry to him.
What is the worst job you’ve done?
I worked at KFC, as a vegetarian, doing Friday and Saturday nights.
How often do you have sex?
Not often enough. Our children are at an age now – 14, 12 and nine – where that is incredibly dangerous. The other night, about midnight, one of my kids walked into the bedroom, and said: “I’m looking for a phone charger.” And after he left, I said to my wife, “I’m not going to have an erection in this room for another year.”
What has been your closest brush with the law?
My dad went to prison and I did visit him a fair bit. But my closest brush with the law was after me and a couple of friends were racially abused in a pub. We went back after it had closed, and started throwing stones at the pub and they called the police and we did a runner.
Tell us a joke
Why did the monkey get lost? Because jungle is massive.
Tell us a secret
The other day, because I hadn’t packed properly, I wore the same pants two days in a row, and it really affected me psychologically.
