Monica Dolan: ‘I look a bit square. If I was a Mr Man, I’d be Mr Strong’ | Television

Born in Middlesbrough, Dolan, 54, trained at Guildhall School of Music and Drama. In 2011, she won a Bafta for playing serial killer Rosemary West in ITV’s Appropriate Adult. Her other television work includes Alan Partridge, W1A, A Very English Scandal and The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe. In 2019, she won an Olivier for her role in All About Eve at London’s Noël Coward theatre. Her films include The Dig, Empire of Light, and Typist, Artist, Pirate, King, in which she plays the lead. She appears in the upcoming ITV series Mr Bates vs the Post Office. She lives in London.

What is your greatest fear?
Being lost and no one wanting to find me.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I try too hard not to get things wrong.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Vulgarity.

What makes you unhappy?
Feeling overlooked.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I look a bit square – a square head, square shoulders. If I was a Mr Man, I’d be Mr Strong.

What is your most unappealing habit?
Pulling my pants down on the way to the toilet; and talking about myself too much or bringing every subject back to me.

What was your most embarrassing moment?
I once walked up to Harriet Walter while she was having lunch on her own because I thought I knew her, and then when I got up to the table I realised I didn’t know her, I just recognised her because she was Harriet Walter.

Who would play you in the film of your life?
They would never get the money together for a film of my life.

Who is your celebrity crush?
Martin Lewis. I also had a thing about Mark Carney who used to be governor of the Bank of England.

Which book are you ashamed not to have read?
Any unread book a friend bought me.

What is the worst thing anyone’s ever said to you?
Another actress once said to me, “I’ve told you huge lies to make you feel good about yourself.” I’m not going to say who.

Would you choose fame or anonymity?
I’ll say familiarity.

What does love feel like?
Knowledge seeping into adventure, with a thin layer of giddiness, hysterical laughter and loss of control.

What has been your biggest disappointment?
Not marrying the person I wanted to marry, but now I think it’s probably good that I didn’t.

If you could edit your past, what would you change?
My friend Fritha Goodey wouldn’t have committed suicide.

If not yourself, who would you most like to be?
Joan Collins.

Would you rather have more sex, money or fame?
I suppose if I had enough money, I could have all three.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
To believe my eyes and not my ears.

What happens when we die?
Our friends are sad and miss us for a bit but, hopefully, they find other people at the party.

Tell us a joke
What do you do if you get a blue banana? Try to cheer it up.