Many years ago, as I was being wheeled out of the delivery room, I looked down at the astonishingly new little person I held in my arms and seized onto the moment in my mind. I frantically encased it in the amber of my memory, because I knew that from that instant forward everything would change, and everything would go quicker than I wanted it to. I was right—and I was also wrong. On the other side of new motherhood, having sent my only child off to college, I can say that it sure did go by too fast. And yes, so much did change. But not everything.
My daughter, now 21 (impossible!), is, cliche as it may be, the pride and joy of my life. It’s not hyperbole to say I would give my life for her. But, though I do love the idea of feeling special, I know that none of that makes me more or less valid, more or less of a leader, more or less compassionate, more or less qualified for anything than my friends who aren’t moms. And believing otherwise, acting otherwise, only serves to diminish every single woman, every single miraculous girl like mine.
It’s a simple concept, but for some reason, still so hard for many to grasp.
The prospect of Kamala Harris as Joe Biden’s replacement on the Democratic presidential ticket was not yet four hours old when conservative “thinkers” started showing their hands—and their staggering lack of an ability to understand this. Perhaps realizing that complaining about the Vice President’s vendetta against plastic straws wasn’t exactly the base-mobilizing charge they hoped it to be, they turned to something that I would laugh about if it wasn’t rooted in the poisonous misogyny at the root of so many issues in our world: her so-called “childless” status.
“Really simple, underdiscussed reason why Kamala Harris shouldn’t be President. No children,” posted one “X” user at 6:21 pm Eastern time—barely three hours after we all got the push notifications that Biden wouldn’t be seeking a second term. “The concerns of parents and families will always be abstract to her,” this man, whose credentials aren’t worth going into here, helpfully clarified in the replies.
What is interesting is that his post has been reposted over 4,000 times and “hearted” nearly 10,000. What is interesting is that he’s not alone in these thoughts—and I’m not just talking about those miserable J.D. Vance comments about the Vice President being a “childless cat lady” that resurfaced not long after. I’m talking about the deep-seated cultural belief that being a married mother is a woman’s “natural” and true calling in life.
