‘He always deseeds my tomatoes’: 17 little gestures that make you feel loved | Valentine’s Day

My husband and I have been together for 23 years, and it is definitely the regular little things that keep us reminded of each other’s affection. I am usually up first, and always take him a coffee in bed; at night, I always go into the bathroom and find my toothpaste on my toothbrush. When we walk to our local cinema, I notice that he stands back to let me go first where the footpath narrows and he always deseeds the tomatoes because he knows I prefer them that way. Samantha Briggs, project manager, Somerset

Before we became a couple, I regularly used to write my (now) wife’s name on the steamed-up shower screen which, looking back, seems a little teenage obsessive. Now married, having been together for five years, I continue to do it every morning with a love heart next to it, so that whenever she goes in the bathroom after me she feels remembered and loved. Ed, Guernsey

My husband bought me an umbrella with a lifetime guarantee before I set off to work in London. He researched one which opened and closed easily, with a sturdy handle, in my favourite colour, and which fitted in my favourite handbag. It’s truly been the most understated present that I’ve received. Every time it drizzled I’d reach for my trusted brolly and feel loved and cherished. Ketvi, Sydney, Australia

My husband picks out and saves the whole peanuts from bags of salted peanuts, because he knows I like them. It sounds a bit silly – me liking whole peanuts that taste the same as half peanuts – but he picks them out anyway and this small gesture feels very romantic. Sharon Evans, church administrator, Bedford

Whether reading or sleeping or watching TV in our king-size bed, our personal territories are well defined. So an occasional, gentle, fleeting footsie tap says “hey, babe”. While a conventional cuddle would be nice, his body temperature is so high that after five minutes I break out in a sweat and we are both reduced to giggles. A footsie sends the message, no sweat. Michael, Atlanta, US

My partner is not one for romantic gestures really, but he is always doing the small things for me. This past weekend I absent-mindedly mentioned my car was low on screenwash, and while getting ready this morning (he leaves earlier than me) I got a text saying he topped it up before he left. He is always checking on my car to make sure it’s in perfect shape so that I never have issues. Samantha Morrison, research analyst, Ottawa, Canada

My husband can basically eat what he wants, whereas I have to work harder to stay in shape. When he makes cheese on toast, which I love, but I’m having a sad salad, he’ll sprinkle the crispy bits of cheese that fall into the grill pan on to my lunch when I’m not looking because he knows I love them. I do and I love him for it. It’s the little thoughts that make a big impact. Rachel, Hertfordshire

Whichever one of us is the first one to go to bed, we lie on the other’s side of the bed. Then when the second person comes to bed, their side is warmed and ready for them. Then the first person goes back to their own (cold) side. We both do this nice gesture for the other, and gain pleasure from giving and receiving. RDG, retired, US

My girlfriend and I live on different continents and we send each other a voice note for the other to wake up to the next morning. Usually it’s just some rambling about what we’ve been up to or encouragement for what the other has on that day, but waking up and hearing her voice tell me she loves me first thing makes me feel so connected to her, despite her being miles away. Daisy, sustainability charity worker, London

When I used to work night shifts in a hospice, I was always passing my husband going to work as I arrived home exhausted but, when I got into bed, I often found a freshly prepared hot-water bottle there. That used to make me so happy. Fiona, nurse, Cumbria

Every Thursday, I drop off my daughter at ballet and, on the walk home, I buy my husband a spring roll from the Chinese takeaway across the road. These are his absolute favourite but he never seems to expect it – he always seems surprised. Pamela Bilo, Gloucester

I like to leave little cards in my wife’s bag or desk at work. Sometimes it takes her weeks to find them. Some are handmade, some are bought; it’s a tradition that goes back to when we were first married and I had to go away for a week for work (the longest time we’ve ever been apart) and I sent her a card every day. I’m crap on the phone, so prefer to write love notes! Theo, teacher, La Nucía, Spain

Perimenopause has been just awful – the hot flashes have been sudden, overwhelming and almost stop me in my tracks. My extremely sweet and considerate partner has developed a tactic for when one hits: as soon as he notices my distress he surreptitiously blows a stream of cool air into my face or neck. He doesn’t draw attention to himself while he does this either, and the cool air makes a huge difference. It means I can stay at the table with friends, keep watching a show or cope in a shop. Emma, the Netherlands

My husband started giving me pedicures in front of the TV when I was pregnant with my daughters and couldn’t reach my feet myself. Twenty years on, he still isn’t afraid to get his hands on my Frodo feet and takes care of my toes weekly while we watch Only Connect. What a man! Cathy Charman, executive assistant, London

Every time I buy my wife a book, I make a wee bookmark for her to use with it. It’s always got something to make her smile on it – a love token instead of a book token. She gets them out from time to time to remember where we were and what we were doing when she read a particular book – she’s kept the bookmarks, even when she’s disposed of some of the books. Brian, retired, Dorset

My husband once bought me a toaster for Christmas. Previously, we had a toaster from Sweden, designed to take Swedish-sized slices of bread, which are about two-thirds the size of a UK slice. Every morning, I would groan about the top third being un-toasted. In buying me a new toaster (with a bagel setting!) my husband saw it less about the toasting of the bread and more about the removal of one of life’s little annoyances. When I look at my toaster, I feel very loved and understood. Victoria Harris, Dorset

I’m quite a self-conscious person, so if I trip over while walking down a busy street, my partner will purposely trip in a comical and over-the-top Basil Fawlty way to “outdo” me, and it makes me laugh every time. Becca O’Kane, freelance writer, North Yorkshire