Name: Soft jocks.
Age: Probably under 40.
Appearance: Jock-like, but soft.
Is this about pants? When I Google âsoft jocksâ, I mostly get ads for pants. This is about men: large, imposing, muscular men.
Whatâs soft about them? Everything else.
Is this about erectile dysfunction? Because those are the other ads Iâm seeing. This is about a new template for modern masculinity.
Says who? The online womenâs magazine Bustle says the alpha male is being supplanted by a more beta incarnation. Soft jocks may have masculine physiques, but their insides are way less toxic.
Can you give me an example of a soft jock? Bustle cites the actor Paul Mescal, âwho pairs his hulking thighs with a deep appreciation for sad girl musicâ.
Thatâs very helpful. Can you give me another example? Travis Kelce, Taylor Swiftâs bearded, Super Bowl-winning boyfriend.
So, sensitive, non-threatening, in touch with their feminine sides, but with enormous muscles. Thatâs the idea.
It sounds as if the muscles are quite an important part of the package. They really help to explode those outmoded gender stereotypes.
Is that what theyâre doing, though? Bustle does also suggest the possibility that the new paradigm represents false progress, âproof that male softness is only desirable if it comes with biceps the size of your headâ.
I would add that itâs easy to display your feminine side when you could flatten anybody who doesnât like it. Itâs certainly true that past incarnations of the sensitive male â the so-called âwife guyâ, or the âgolden retriever boyfriendâ â were condemned for being weedy and too eager to please.
They were the true pioneers. Yes. Unfortunately, they wore glasses and had spaghetti arms.
And, ironically, they now have giants standing on their shoulders. Giants who consider it a compliment to be referred to as âbabygirlâ.
That doesnât sound like a compliment. Thatâs because you are judging its meaning in the context of a lot of cultural baggage associated with the word itself.
Yeah. Iâm pretty sure thatâs how language works. Stop thinking so hard, and just celebrate the rise of soft-centred males who can bench-press a Mini.
I guess if itâs good enough for Taylor Swift. It is.
So should all men aspire to be soft jocks? According to Bustle, one doesnât try to be a soft jock: âOne simply is.â
Do say: âIâm just back from the rodeo â anyone seen my knitting?â
Donât say: âYouâre the man of my dreams â kind, considerate, and your favourite film is Dirty Dancing. Now I just need you to do some sit-ups.â