41 Thoughts I Had Watching Nicole Kidman and Zac Efron in ‘A Family Affair’

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I would watch Nicole Kidman do literally anything—seriously, I’ve revisited her 73 Questions more times than I care to admit—so obviously, I was thrilled when I learned she’d be starring in a new Netflix rom-com opposite Zac Efron. I mean, who wouldn’t tune in for that, even just out of idle curiosity?

So, without further ado, let’s dive into A Family Affair and see what the good people at (please hold while I google who made this movie)…Roth/Kirschenbaum Films cooked up for us, shall we? Director Richard LaGravenese did help adapt The Bridges of Madison County, after all!

  1. Something is going on with Zac Efron’s face, and by the end of this movie I am determined to figure out exactly what it is.
  2. Has he always looked this much like Rob Lowe?
  3. Hey, GQ! I know her!
  4. Okay, Zac Efron is playing an overexposed actor (what a stretch!) who made his fortune with a superhero franchise.
  5. “I’m not one of those needy girlfriends,” Zac Efron’s GF promises him, which makes me think she is, indeed, one of those needy girlfriends.
  6. She gets dumped. Bummer!
  7. Joey King is Zac Efron’s assistant, and she doesn’t seem to be that good at it.
  8. I never knew how badly I needed to see Zac Efron sing along to Cher in the car.
  9. God, I wish I could have “a latte, with cow’s milk, from a real cow.”
  10. NICOLE! And Kathy Bates!
  11. I love a production that lets Nicole Kidman be her truest, most Australian self.
  12. I like Nicole’s dour little gray sweater-and-checked pants outfit.
  13. Kathy Bates is Nicole’s editor, but she’s also her mother-in-law. Hmm.
  14. Damn, Nicole must be quite a writer to have a house with a view like that.
  15. Oh, Nicole is Joey King’s mom. Duh. I probably should have read the synopsis for this movie.
  16. I agree with Joey King, there really are too many flavors of Oreo on the market right now.
  17. Yes, girl! Quit!
  18. I kind of want a shahtoosh T-shirt now.
  19. Why do all super-rich people in LA have insanely heavy front doors?
  20. “Vogue does not pay very well, but they do give a lot of swag.” All comments withheld (but LOL).
  21. Damn, Joey King’s character is whiny. Just get another assistant job, babe! There’s a lot of them in LA! Famous people hate doing things for themselves!
  22. Wow, Zac Efron and Nicole (yes, she’s single-name status) went from meeting to sex very quickly. Respect.
  23. It seems famous guys really love it when you haven’t seen their movies.
  24. Is this 24-year-old still seeing her pediatrician?
  25. Joey King reluctantly goes back to work for Zac Efron, because he agrees to make her an associate producer.
  26. Zac Efron and Nicole are over…but are they?
  27. Hmm, I inexplicably don’t hate Zac Efron with ice-blonde hair.
  28. Nor do I hate Nicole Kidman in sexy-nerd glasses.
  29. Aw, showmance! Zac Efron and Nicole are walking around a New York set in LA, and while I hate the stereotype that “nobody in LA walks” (we do!), I have to admit this is a cute date.
  30. Why doesn’t anyone ever tell me that I “need to live a little,” as buttoned-up professional women in movies are constantly being told?
  31. OK, hugging from behind at the beach in sweaters! Nancy Meyers movie much?
  32. I have to admit, I do find it relatable when female friends in movies talk past each other.
  33. This mother and daughter have talked more about sex in the last hour than I have with my mom over the course of my entire life.
  34. I’m so upset about Zac Efron’s huge suspenders.
  35. Zac Efron is suddenly invited to family Christmas? In defense of whiny Joey King, that does seem like a lot.
  36. Kathy Bates really was born to dispense folksy wisdom in rom-coms.
  37. OMG, Zac Efron got Nicole his standard diamond-earring gift that he apparently gets all the women he dates. Personally, I’d take them, but I guess…that’s bad?
  38. Oh, I see, he gets women these earrings when he breaks up with them. That is bad. (Although, then again, lots of guys have broken up with me without so much as a parting gift, so I’m having trouble feeling bad for Nicole.)
  39. Hey, it’s my favorite Kacey Musgraves Christmas song!
  40. Aw, Joey King helps Zac Efron win Nicole back!
  41. Aw squared, Joey King is finally important in Hollywood in some way I can’t entirely specify! And she has the blowout to prove it!

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